New Page X, which will give parts of the current Chapter 28 of the book ("Clinical Treatment of Autism") is at:  http://nz9f.com/X

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I wrote my epitaph, as I continually find out more of what is in my head, and why I didn´t want to know what I know.  I need to establish that autistics immediately become a part of the gnosis process, so that same doesn´t kill us.  What I didn´t want to know is where this is all going, but a large handful of people in my life did know.  One publisher said that he would not carry my book, because dead authors do not make good personal appearances.  I thought he meant that I could die by being too controversial, but he was talking about suicide.  The reason us autistics need to be treated for the disease early in life is that failure to do so early enough always results in our suicide later in life.

Epitaph:  I was autistic because of secret experiments with genetic memory that were conducted in the 1950s.  I know that because some of the experimenters inserted their memories into me, and I can clearly read same!  I know all about it.  What I needed most to survive in life as an autistic child was two things:  The one-on-one instruction provided by my mother, and I deperately needed to know about gnosis.  How early?  The earlier the better, because the disease interferes with the ability to process data mentally, resulting in not knowing how one´s eyes or eyebrows should properly move when speaking, nor how to show emotion, nor how to read same in the faces of others.  There is a critical imprinting period for some of this, which cannot be learned afterward.  I cannot form interpersonal relationships because of having this developmental defect caused by the autism.

To draw an analogy, autism is caused by the computer of the brain having all memory in use via inborn talent or genetic memory.  If you then want to "cut and paste", you cannot do that as no memory is available for same.  So, you are unable to do tasks like learn to read nonverbal facial cues, or whatever.  The treatment is to expand the available memory, which in a human involves the use of gnosis or eucharistics (same thing).  All universities use same in order to facilitate learning. 

Untreated by same, the autism becomes worse, the incredible talents all interfering with each other.  Untreated by, best guess, age 16 or so, the process is irreversible and will always result in suicide, later in life.

In my case, growing up Catholic, I did not learn about gnosis.  Had I grown up Lutheran, my being brilliant would have resulted in my church having me participate in the process of eucharistics.  The real offense in all this is that the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee never taught me about gnosis.  With that knowledge, I would have unlocked the many bottled up talents and become successful.  My life could have been salvaged until about 1978, when I got my B.A. degree, having done graduate research and taught psychology. 

After that, not being taught the religious secrets, and being autistic, they would have caused me less pain if they shot me in the head instead.  None of the horrific things that happened to me could have (thousands omitted from my bio), just by knowing that one thing!  It was all very unnecessary.  It is now obvious that, eleven years after being too late to correct, I was elected bishop not just because of being a religious victim, but also because they felt sorry for me.  The clergy knew that I would someday die from that victimization.  They felt sorry for me.  They made what would be left of my life as comfortable as possible, by giving me control of the gnosis process.

I now know that an autistic child will absolutely always commit suicide later in life if not told about that process early enough in life.  I´m sure my clergy already knew that.  They knew I was terminal.  To this day, no one will answer the following question:  How does the vetting process for university (not church) participation in gnosis work?  The closest I got to an answer on that is when I asked the secretary of the Dean of Education at San Diego State University.  She started to answer, and then stopped and said she didn´t know.  I told her she did know, and didn´t want to get into trouble.  She admitted that was the case.  My clergy won´t tell me.  Perhaps they are afraid that I would go kill somebody, which, in this case, is correct.

When I met God, He told me about my not surviving this, and why.  I promptly intentionally blocked that.  That´s what I was hiding from myself, when I write at the end of Chapter 1 that there are things I don´t want to know.

The unanimous consensus of readers of my bio is as follows:  The religious secrets need to not be secret any longer.  And, I should have killled myself a long time ago.  I contacted over a dozen intellectuals, psychologists, social workers, and psychiatrists.  Unanimous.  Dead authors do not sell well, so most agents and publishers do not want it.  I need to make it Public Domain.

I can say with certainty that all of the other autistics out there will commit suicide from being so intelligent, if not treated and the process explained at a very early stage in life, when damage is not so great.  Many people did very nice things in the meantime, and many knew it was a terminal case, too.  At a point 30-plus years earlier than this, all explanation and participation in the process of gnosis became irrelevant.  Too late to correct the damage.  The only thing that can be done is to delay suicide.

The key element of blame is the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee, which is to be charged with my death for not explaining the process.  That was the thing I needed to be taught in order to survive.  I regret going to school there, am ashamed to be affiliated with that school, and I will burn my degree if I ever find it.  Had I a nuclear weapon, I would vaporize the campus.  You killed me, you bastards!

Other than that, I am actually in good spirits, looking forward to getting out of here. 

My autobiography, the whole story of my autism and ADD, is at:  http://nz9f.com/R